When someone takes their last breath it is shocking, even if it was expected. We often don’t know what to do next. The best thing is usually to PAUSE. There is no rush. Give yourself time to work out what’s best for your own wellbeing and that of those around you.

Keeping someone at home, for at least a few days, is always worth considering. This can aid in the grieving process, bring a sense of fulfilment and help families, including children, to meet death as something understandable and natural.


The main carer or closest people may be in deep shock no matter how expected the death. They can be the “quiet” voice when others around are getting busy contacting funeral directors. It is important that we make sure these quiet voices get what they need, as otherwise they can have regrets that affect their long-term wellbeing. They may feel a strong need to stay close to the person who has died for a few days in the familiarity of home.

Looking after someone after their last breath can be a last loving act, can aid in the adjustment process, bring a sense of fulfilment and help folk, including children, to really take into their bones that their relationship has changed forever. This all helps us to meet death as something understandable and natural. This can be part of a home-based funeral where people make some or all of the arrangements themselves, or part of a funeral organised by a funeral director.

Become familiar with your options now so that you are ready to care for yourself and your loved ones – in body and soul – after their last breath.

Our aim is to provide information and support to those wishing to consider the options after death, especially those who instinctively want to keep their loved ones at home (or bring them back home) in the days after their last breath.

“Fantastic to have this space and opportunity to learn and talk about the hard stuff and the taboo.”
We understand there are taboos and uncertainty surrounding death, but the information we can provide is practical and reassuring.
  • Laws about death and funerals in Scotland.
  • Caring at home for someone who has died.
  • Immediately after someone dies at home.
  • Someone dies in a hospital, hospice or care home.
  • When a baby dies.
  • Arranging funerals in Scotland.
  • Paying for funerals.
  • Web links and leaflets.

Speaking Up for The Quiet Voices

“When my dad died I really wanted to keep him at home but the funeral director told me it wasn’t a good idea so I didn’t. Me being a nurse as well, I should have known better. I didn’t feel I could argue with him. I am so sorry I didn’t get the chance.”

“I looked after my husband all the time at home when he was dying. My sons arrived just as he died and called the funeral director. He was wrenched away from me within an hour. I should never have let him go. I am still regretting it 3 years later but have never talked to anyone about it. “

“If only I had known… I promised to care for my mum at home but she had to go into hospital in her last week. I would have jumped at the chance to take her home again after she died and care for her one last time.”

Upcoming events


Monday 20th June 2022 



SATURDAY 5th November 2022