When someone takes their last breath we often don’t know what to do next. The best thing is usually to SLOW DOWN. There is no rush. Give yourself time to work out what’s best for your own wellbeing and that of those around you. The decisions made in the first hours really can affect your life, and the lives of those close to you, for years to come.
You have the option to take charge of everything, perhaps with support and encouragement from someone with experience; to combine what you want to do with what a funeral director can do for you; or to ask a funeral director to take charge of everything. Become familiar with your options now so that you are ready to care for yourself and your loved ones – in body and soul – and set your grieving process on track. Even if you ask a funeral director to make all the arrangements, there are simple and comforting ways you can be actively involved in the days before a funeral.
The main carer or closest people may be in deep shock no matter how expected the death. They can be the “quiet” voice when others around are getting busy contacting funeral directors. They may feel a strong need to stay close to the person who has died for a few days in the familiarity of home – it may take several days for them to be ready to let go. It is important that we make sure anyone who feels this way gets what they need, as otherwise they can have long-term regrets that affect how they grieve.
We are keen that everyone in Scotland is fully informed about their options when someone dies.
We provide two opportunities for exploration of the options After The Last Breath, to help people to discern what is right for them and those around them. Our aim is that people will gain the knowledge, confidence and curiosity to allow them to follow their instincts to support their well-being when someone dies.
Intensive Online Course
This course is run several times per year over 9 weeks. It is a mix of self-study and online group activity with 4 live online Q&A/discussion sessions. You receive materials each week including teaching videos, interesting links and illuminating exercises. This is an opportunity to learn with like-minded folks.
Self-paced Modules
The self-paced modules cover the same material as the online course. They are an opportunity to explore the areas of interest to you at your own pace and in your own time. For each module you receive a teaching video (with transcript), interesting links to related material and illuminating exercises.
Like many things in life, there are pros and cons to taking charge yourself when someone dies. When you know what these are, it gets a lot easier to make the best choices for yourself and the people you love. We are here to help you make informed choices.
Keeping someone’s body at home is not always the first priority but is always worth considering, for at least a few days. This can aid in the grieving process, bring a sense of fulfilment and help families, including children, to meet death as something understandable and natural.
Wendy’s Story
Rosemary’s Story
Sven & Betsy’s Story
We provide information and support to people wishing to consider the options after death, especially those who instinctively want to keep someone at home (or bring them back home) in the days after their last breath.
- Laws about death and funerals in Scotland.
- Caring at home for someone who has died.
- Immediately after someone dies at home.
- Someone dies in a hospital, hospice or care home.
- When a baby dies.
- Arranging funerals in Scotland.
- Paying for funerals.
Web links and leaflets.
Speaking Up for The Quiet Voices
“I looked after my husband all the time at home when he was dying. My sons arrived just as he died and called the funeral director. He was wrenched away from me within an hour. I should never have let him go. I am still regretting it 3 years later but have never talked to anyone about it. “
“If only I had known… I promised to care for my mum at home but she had to go into hospital in her last week. I would have jumped at the chance to take her home again after she died and care for her one last time.”
Upcoming events
Know Your Rights and Options When Someone Dies
Tuesday 28th November 2023 7pm
online
Online Course
Starting 8 January 2024
