bringing death home

********* Covid-19 Update *********

At Pushing Up The Daisies we reach out and extend our thoughts to all who are facing the death of a loved one in this current challenging environment. We are ever mindful that people continue to die in our communities from other causes as well as from Covid-19, and that the dying process may be especially difficult for families due to social distancing measures.

Spending time with someone after they die to say goodbye may be more important than ever to help console those grieving the death of their loved one. Visiting is still allowed at Funeral Directors’ premises. Guidance for funeral businesses updated in October 2020 advises them against bringing bodies to a home. We are not aware of any guidance preventing people from arranging this themselves, or keeping someone at home when the person has died there, so long as the current general and infection control rules in the area, eg physical distancing rules, are followed. If you would like to do this then please contact us. We can support you to make a plan. Click here for more guidance on how the current situation affects your options when someone dies.

Covid-19 may generate discussions about what treatment a person would accept and where they would draw the line if they became very sick, discussions which are relevant to many other conditions. This helpful guidance is forthright and honest. 

When someone dies it is shocking, even if it was expected. We often don’t know what to do for the best. The best thing is usually to PAUSE. There is no rush. Give yourself time to work out what’s best for the wellbeing of you and those around you.

It is always worth considering to keep at home the person who has died, for at least a few days. This can aid grieving, bring a sense of fulfilment and help families, including children, to meet death as something understandable and natural.

When someone dies, some people feel a strong need to stay close to them for a few days in the familiarity of home. This is often the main carer or closest person who can be in deep shock no matter how expected the death. They can be the “quiet” voice when others around are getting busy contacting funeral directors. It is important that we make sure these quiet voices get what they need as otherwise they can have long lasting regrets affecting their wellbeing.

Looking after someone who has died can be a last loving act, can aid in grieving, bring a sense of fulfilment and help folk, including children, to really take into their bones that a loved one has died. This all helps us to meet death as something understandable and natural.

This can be part of a home-based funeral where people make some or all of the arrangements themselves. It is equally possible for it to be part of a funeral organised by a funeral director.

Get savvy about your options now so that you are ready to care for yourself and your loved ones – in body and soul – after their death.

Our aim is to provide information and support to those wishing to consider their options after death and especially to whose who instinctively want to keep their loved ones at home (or bring them back home) in the days after their death.

“Fantastic to have this space and opportunity to learn and talk about the hard stuff and the taboo.”
We understand there are taboos and uncertainty surrounding death, but the information we can provide is practical and reassuring.
  • Laws about death and funerals in Scotland.
  • Caring at home for someone who has died.
  • Immediately after someone dies at home.
  • Someone Dies in a Hospital, Hospice or Care Home.
  • When a Baby Dies.
  • Arranging Funerals in Scotland.
  • Paying for Funerals.
  • Web Links.

Speaking Up for The Quiet Voices

“When my dad died I really wanted to keep him at home but the funeral director told me it wasn’t a good idea so I didn’t. Me being a nurse as well, I should have known better. I didn’t feel I could argue with him. I am so sorry I didn’t get the chance.”

“I looked after my husband all the time at home when he was dying. My sons arrived just as he died and called the funeral director. He was wrenched away from me within an hour. I should never have let him go. I am still regretting it 3 years later but have never talked to anyone about it. “

“If only I had known… I promised to care for my mum at home but she had to go into hospital in her last week. I would have jumped at the chance to take her home again after she died and care for her one last time.”

Upcoming events

Round the kitchen table

near Nairn

Get-together and AGM

1st December 2020 1pm